Balancing Opposite Sex Friendships

shannonicole:

My dearest twenty-one year old girl,

This letter may come as a hurtful surprise to you, but please, keep reading. I know that right now you don’t understand boundaries between a man and a woman. You’re not even sure yet why, when and how they exist. And right now you’re naive to the fact that in friendships, emotions and pasts and physical touch can be confusing and messy and lead down hurtful roads. You’re a “guy’s girl”. We all know one—the kind of girl who thinks that most women on this earth except for her are catty and jealous and can’t be trusted.

There’s a reason why, right now, I’m referring to you as a “girl”.

There is an unhealthy balance in seeking out more friendships with the opposite sex than your own. Let’s be honest—guys and girls were made opposite sexes for a reason, and it wasn’t to just be friends. Is it possible to maintain friendships with each other? Absolutely. But we should learn our limits in those friendships, especially in those crucial teens and twenties when we are figuring out ourselves and the world around us.

Darling—no man, no matter how good of a friend he is to you, should be the one you confide in about all the turbulent places this world will take your sweet heart and mind. He cannot be your validation when your self-esteem has been challenged, and he will not be able to speak into those inherent longings inside you that only a woman would understand. Remember that who you need to be filled with is the One who made you, not the one standing in front of you.

While you are not responsible for the choice a man makes to lust, don’t intentionally drive a man in your life to do so. And if you find out he is struggling, don’t bring him down or punish him. Encourage him to seek help and show him grace.

That guy you’re talking to whose heart is wrapped up in or committed to someone else? Take a step away, love. Offering parts of yourself to someone who can’t offer anything back will only hurt you in the long run. It is not up to you to change his heart.

Be wary of what you post online and how much of yourself you’re letting the world in on for free. Those photos of yourself and the guys you’re with do not do justice to the heart beating inside of you. Think of everything you want to give your future husband and don’t give those things away to people who aren’t him. When you meet that man who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you’ll want him to trust you with other guys and know he is getting all of you.

Now here’s one you’re really not going to want to hear— If one of you in an opposite sex friendship is dating someone, don’t spend ample time alone with each other. And don’t seek out the wrong kind of relationship advice from your opposite sex friends. You know the type—when you really only want to hear what will validate you and not what is best for everyone involved.

Love your brothers as Christ would—equally and unconditionally. Respect their hearts and the place they are in, but show the same care and give the same encouragement to all.

If one of your friends is struggling, walk with him in encouragement, love, and lack of judgment, but also direct your friend to mentors, counselors and disciplers who have the wisdom and experience to establish long-term help.

Recognize spiritual warfare in one another and pray against it. Fight for each other’s hearts in Christ.

Seek out other ladies. Surround yourself with strong women who have been there and done that, or who can speak true feminine wisdom into this season of your life. Don’t boast in “men just understanding you better.” Men and women were not created with the same hearts. Cherish the femininity in yours and find good women to share it with.

And remember that you are worth so much more than what you’ve already lost. Your God is the Father of redemption, and you are one of His delivered. Let your friendships with the men in your life reflect that always.

Love,

Yourself, four years wiser

[Because sometimes the very words we need to hear are our own]

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the-absolute-funniest-posts:

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twinkle twinkle little stars: I am desperate to tell you this good news again

arcticstory:

Sometimes believers will throw up their hands in frustration with non-Christian people they know. “I have said everything I know to say to her about the gospel,” one might say. “She already knows it all and doesn’t believe.”

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My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god

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When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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arcticstory:

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andrealla:

AHHHHH so much love for Avatar!

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mishalmoorebloggyblog:

As seen on Facebook. (posted by Homestead Survival)

A sweet lesson on patience.

A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. ‘Just a minute’, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940’s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and glassware.

‘Would you carry my bag out to the car?’ she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. ‘It’s nothing’, I told her.. ‘I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.’

‘Oh, you’re such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, ‘Could you drive
through downtown?’

‘It’s not the shortest way,’ I answered quickly..

‘Oh, I don’t mind,’ she said. ‘I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. ‘I don’t have any family left,’ she continued in a soft voice..’The doctor says I don’t have very long.’ I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

‘What route would you like me to take?’ I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, ‘I’m tired.Let’s go now’.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

‘How much do I owe you?’ She asked, reaching into her purse.

‘Nothing,’ I said

‘You have to make a living,’ she answered.

‘There are other passengers,’ I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.

‘You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut.It was the sound of the closing of a life..

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.